new orleans

it's been awhile since my last blog, i'm sure you're all very upset and feeling empty inside. very long entry this time to make up for time off.

this story started back in april, when i began looking at tickets for eagles road games. saints tickets were about 4 times cheaper than everywhere else, so i started thinking about it. this would give me a chance to go to one of the sweetest party cities in the country, drive through the south and knock off like 5 more states i've never been to, satisfy my newfound love for road trips, and oh yeah, go to an eagles game for only 25 bucks. so the next night i drunkenly purchased 4 tix, saying at the time that actually having the tickets will make us make it happen, and if we can't do it, i'll just sell them and get my money back. and so it was done. fast forward 6 months, and i had found two others to make the trip with me, oh and a free hotel room also.

we left at 2am friday morning, got there at 8pm. some would say driving all day on a friday the 13th is a bad omen, but oh well. checked in, ate, hit bourbon street. nothing better than talking to people that night and telling them we just drove 19 hours and then immediately went out and partied it up. a true hero's welcome. near the end of the night, we started jawing with two saints fans. the pushing and yelling somehow lasted for 20-25 minutes, even though their whole argument consisted of repeated yellings of "who dey?!" i thought that was the bengals chant, but maybe every southern team uses it. it was funny, though, to watch all the hot girls slowly move away from our ongoing argument. at one point i said something to the effect of "no way we're gonna lose to this piece of shit city." they didn't seem to like that too much.

regarding the hurricane, the city itself seems fine for the most part. on the drive in you could see wreckage that clearly just hadn't been touched, and lots of houses that were just abandoned. they seem to all be able to joke about it, though, as evidenced by the many drinks named after hurricanes (the katrina rita being my favorite), as well as hilarious gift shop merchandise. as i always say, if we can't laugh at ourselves, what can we laugh at? and if there was any city that could laugh about this, it's new orleans, or at least any city in the south. the southern hospitality was noticeable, they clearly know how to have fun down there. the town was probably founded by a bunch of boozehounds.

just look at bourbon street, which is pretty much the greatest place ever. there are approximately 519 bars packed into like 8 blocks, they stay open till 5, no covers, you can buy beers and drinks on the street, you can drink on the street, lots of live bands, 64 ounce beers, and cops who were drinking beers right next to us. one fun thing is the shot girls that populate every bar. they approach you and force test tubes full of alcohol down your throat in very suggestive ways. then just as your stomach starts to churn, they ask you for 3 bucks. my favorite was this russian chick who caught me ogling her as she walked by, then made a b-line for me, said 'yes you vill take shut now,' and then afterwards grabbed an extra dollar out of my hand as she explained, 'teep for me.' thanks natasha. i felt so used.

one highlight of the weekend was driving my eagles-decked-out car down bourbon street past tons of eagles fans while blaring the eagles fight song on repeat. the best. ratio of eagles fans to saints fans: approximately 12-1, not even kidding. eagles fans really do travel everywhere. made me very proud. saturday afternoon we sampled some local cuisine at acme restaurant by getting some po' boys. basically a big sandwich that you can get anything on, mainly seafood. i got the acme special, which was roast beef, ham, turkey, american cheese, lettuce, tomato, mayo, all covered in gravy. for dessert i had the triple bypass. good stuff.

sunday morning we hit bourbon st. at about 10:30 to find it as lively as ever, filled with all eagles fans drinking as if it were 10:30pm. we then marched all the way through the city to the superdome, reciting eagles chants all along the way. possible highlight of the trip, seeing as how the game itself was a letdown. one thing about the dome is that it was a lot louder than i expected, almost deafening noise. that's the one thing i'll give saints fans credit for. certainly not for all the shit they gave us on the way out. the worst was the father and son in front of us who kept talking to us after the game, at first being assholes then being annoyingly nice. the dad was hell bent on giving us his phone number so we could meet up with him next time we came down. which he did, while forgetting to give us the area code. he even said to me, 'bring your mom down, too.' the son then sat down next to me and said "i really think god wanted the saints to win this game." i wanted to say something so badly but i didn't, which was probably good. yeah clearly god loves you guys, he gives you one of the worst disasters in history, kills thousands and causes billions in damage, then feels bad about it so he tries to make it up to you by rooting for the saints. that must be it. don't even get me started. although if matt bryant can hit a 62 yard field goal to beat the eagles, maybe god really is against us. but like i said don't get me started.

we kept it relatively chill that sunday night. i had my 64 ounce beer, which i now love and wish they sold in every bar in the country. on the way back we drove across the pontchartrain causeway, a 23-mile long bridge that goes over lake pontchartrain. that means i went over the world's longest bridge and the world's longest bridge over ice-covered waters within a 16-day period. i wonder if anyone's ever done it quicker.

we stopped at a sonic on the way back, which i've wanted to go to for a long time. it took like 5 minutes to figure out how to order, but it was worth it. sonic is my new favorite fast food place. they have everything. burgers, chicken sandwiches, nuggets, coneys, burritos, popcorn chicken, shakes, ice cream, a ton of drinks. it's every fast food place rolled into one. so good.

some trip specs: 2570 miles, 40 hours of driving, 9 states. all to see the eagles lose on a last-second field goal. oh well, it was worth it.